"Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you." Jeremiah 1:5
That is one of the verses that people "use" when you lose a baby, especially one who dies before he has a chance to enter the world. I have certainly found great comfort in that, not only for Joshua, but also for me personally. In the past five months the sheer miracle and gift of life has been brought home to me like it never could have absent this experience. It is truly a miracle that babies make it to birth. The fact that you are here, alive, breathing, reading, is nothing short of a miracle. You just have to be faced with the ugly reality that so many things can go wrong to be aware of that. Pregnancy is the earthly beginning of an amazing miracle filled with joy and pain.
The verse above was brought into a whole new light of beauty and mystery last Friday night. Jeff and I went out to an art opening in Baton Rouge. A bunch of galleries and shops in one part of town open with new shows and wine and cheese (it is probably more of a social event thatn an art event). As I walked through one of the galleries, I went to the place where a particular artist's work is always displayed. I like her work a lot and am always admiring something that I either would like to get as a gift for someone else or I would like to buy for our house. This time there was a piece that words really can't do justice to, but I didn't take a picture of it (and the lawyer in me wonders whether I would be doing something wrong by posting an artist's work online without permission), so word will have to suffice for now. It was a bronze relief sculpture, meant to hang on a wall, of a beautiful angel with huge wings behind her. She was gazing downward, cradling a baby in her arms. The verse "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you." Jeremiah 1:5 was posted above the angel. Stunning and simple. It touched me and took me aback like nothing I've seen or heard since we lost Joshua. Again, I know the words do not do it justice, but they're all I have for now.
Grace and peace.
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December 6, 2007
A look at life, loss, and redemption
Our story
I found out I was pregnant in August of 2007 with our second child and everything was "normal" as far as we knew, until December 3, 2007 when I went in for a routine ultra-sound and they couldn't find his heartbeat. He was still born on December 6th. We found out later that I had contracted Fifth Disease and passed it to the baby and he was not able to fight it off. This blog will be my story of that loss and my life since, and because I have faith, I know it will be a story of redemption.
Joshua's Footprints
December 6, 2007
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