judgment

One of the things that I hope I am getting better at, and I can only give God credit for, is being judgmental of others. After losing Joshua, one of the things that started to come into focus for me was how others' each have their own story. Each person I come across each day of my life, they have a story. God created that person. He allowed them to make it to birth and allowed them to wake up this morning. They have a mother and a father, those relationships might be good, and they might be bad. That person is loved and cherished by someone (and if they're not, then they have a whole different story). They have things that have brought them joy and pain and things that have shaped who they are and the decisions they have made. Even in the midst of trying to not judge others, I still recognize that not everyone is going to be my friend and of course we are all sinful. But recognizing the sin in them is kind of like recognizing it in myself; I am sinful, yet I hope my sin is not what others see first when they see me.

This exercise in trying to escape judging others goes beyond just "not thinking bad things" about another person; it is opening my eyes to the whole story of each person's life. Questions about people's decisions to have children, or the decision to have more children, or children very close in age used to be things I didn't really think fell into the category of judgment, but I see it differently now. The comments: "Wow! Another baby? They sure are going to be close in age!", "Really, you don't want anymore kids?", "So, when are y'all going to have kids?". Those questions and others like them aren't intended to cast judgment on the person, but even unknowingly, they do. I am humbled by seeing the inside of how things that happen to you can transform your views on life and the decisions you make.

More often than not, I don't know that family's story. The family who struggled for years with infertility or multiple miscarriages just can't bring themselves to go through that again to have another child. Or perhaps medically, they cannot. That family who financially just cannot sustain another child. That family who is expecting another child when they have a three month old at home, they were told they couldn't have children. That family with six kids and a crazy house, God's blessing came with each one of those children. People's decisions are their own and based on a lot more than my eyes looking from the outside in can see. My questions, even unknowingly, are filled with my own perspectives and judgment.

I'm not always good at avoiding my natural inclination to make a judgment on sight or sound of a person, but I am working on it and I am praying that God will continue to strip away my natural inclinations and replace them with His perspective.

I read this today and thought about all of the judgments we all carry around, and I thought I would share the link to a mother's story.

Grace and peace.